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This is a test for an upcoming episode long overdue.

BLUNT ABOUT JUNK!

OMG ITS FINALLY HERE! Yes, the infamous episode of Sam & The Elderly Old Man - Blunt About Junk finally makes its way onto the internet. Why'd it take so long? Hell if I know, other than neglect and laziness for which I bring shame to Fanceh people the world over. Anyway, if memory serves its a pretty damn good one too! So, without further ado - enjoy!

Purple Reserve

 So, Sam & I were trying to buy Prince tickets. And the modern way of buying concert tickets has changed from a contest to see who can camp out the front of the box office the longest - ignoring their families and jobs, and personal hygeine. Prince goes to prove that his evening with you has sexual undertones right from the point you buy the tickets. The buying of which has changed to an online affair that goes a little something like this...

EOM says:
wow
any luck?
sam says:
yeh. nooooooooope
3 mins
allocation exhausted
EOM says:
just keep hammering it dude
sam says:
yeh?
u got some?
EOM says:
best available!
best available!
sam says:
wait
EOM says:
just go apeshit on it
sam says:
u got some?
EOM says:
yes
sam says:
whaaa
it said exhausted!
in like 3 mins
EOM says:
NEIN!
ignore le clock!!
sam says:
shit
i stopped trying
oh well im fucked now
itll def be soldout
EOM says:
i got reserve 5 mins ago
try!
sam says:
ok ok
it taking ages to get past sign in
cos it kicked me off
EOM says:
i know thats the hardest bit
and yeh i think everyone got kicked
i was on bus, walking in doorway ignoring everyone
sam says:
its blank
EOM says:
keep trying
mobile site especially
but in firefox
sam says:
FRI OR SAT
EOM says:
ANY!
JUST DO BOTH!!
new tabs!
YOU'RE SO CLOSE!
sam says:
OH MAN
it wont give them to me
i fail
EOM says:
DO IT!!
why?
sam says:
im RYING
EOM says:
i had to try like 8 times
sam says:
ity wont go to payment
EOM says:
if you can get past tix category just keep trying man
server's losing its shit, but its holding
sam says:
i has
it said
go to payment
ive clikced
nothing
EOM says:
open in new tab
just keep hammering dude
sam says:
it wont let me
EOM says:
it aint over till fat lady sings!
sam says:
right click on it u mean?
EOM says:
open in new tab
that way you dont lose a step and have to go back to beginning
sam says:
ooo wait
circle is starting
EOM says:
GO YOU GOOD THING!!
sam says:
in the bar
6 mins
shit
EOM says:
TRY AGAIN!
sam says:
HOW DOES OPEN IN NEW TAB
EOM says:
middle click is easiest
THE CLOCK IS A LIEEEE!!!!!!
well.. cept that 'queue' on the full page.. that was wierd
sam says:
ohmigod
OHMIGOD
EOM says:
YOU GOT!?!?
sam says:
I THINK I HAZ
EOM says:
YOU HAZ!!
PAYMENT RECEIVED!!!
sam says:
PROCESSING
EOM says:
come onnnnnnnnn
sam says:
CONFIRMATION EMAIL
RECEIVED
EOM says:
BOOOOFUCKINYAAHHHH!!!
sam says:
YES
YES
FUCKING THANK YOU
AARON U BEWDIFUL MAN
EOM says:
HIGH MOTHERFUCKEN FIVE!!!!
Jesus - buying these tix was almost like cybersex

Prelude To The Parade

Better late than never, here's our latest! 15 mins after we'd finished up on this, we were treated to a grand procession of university looking party goers.. Shall I say in the hundreds?? There were definitely close to a hundred of them all walking by our 'studio'.. Sexeh kitten costumed gals, devil girls, boys in gimp outfits, a few poor attempts at Hello Kitty.. Oh yeh, and the temperature outside was sub zero too.. Surely we hadn't had THAT much wine by the end of this!!

A Little Too Much Karl

Sometimes its hard not to be quite so influenced by those you admire.

S.A.M. says:
"why do blokes buy gay magazines? blokes have got their own knob to look at , if they like knobs"
E.O.M. says:
he's got a point!
S.A.M. says:
BAHAHAHAHA
S.A.M. says:
ok. u go
S.A.M. says:
ask a gay man'
S.A.M. says:
its like asking why lesbians like other spadge
S.A.M. says:
COS UR NOT GONNA GET ALL HOT FOR YERSELF
S.A.M. says:
unless u have a mental illness
E.O.M. says:
yeh but i can understand lesbians liking other lesbians
S.A.M. says:
whaaaaaaaaaa
S.A.M. says:
why is it diff?
E.O.M. says:
the female body's more aesthetic
S.A.M. says:
why?
S.A.M. says:
oh wow
S.A.M. says:
hahahhaa
S.A.M. says:
so ur of the seinfeld school
E.O.M. says:
its curvy artisctically pleasing
S.A.M. says:
"it's for gettin around like a jeep"
E.O.M. says:
i never understood the greeks
S.A.M. says:
bahaha
S.A.M. says:
they love a wrestle
E.O.M. says:
look at your women! they're gorgeous!
S.A.M. says:
um
S.A.M. says:
yeh ok
E.O.M. says:
and they've got to be easier to sculpt or chisel out too
E.O.M. says:
its just easy curves
S.A.M. says:
hahhahaa
S.A.M. says:
riiiight
E.O.M. says:
imagine the first guy sculpting a knob
S.A.M. says:
oh jesus
E.O.M. says:
he's rolling it out on a table
S.A.M. says:
no wonder they made them small
E.O.M. says:
sticks it on.. and his mate goes... mmm yeh... its not very knob like though is it
S.A.M. says:
heh. my sculpture is SO much smaller than me
E.O.M. says:
a gay man might say, whats there to look at in a spadge
E.O.M. says:
might as well be a miniature arse
S.A.M. says:
BAHAHAHA....wow
S.A.M. says:
ok NOT what im saying
S.A.M. says:
and most gay men appreciate the female form
S.A.M. says:
theyre just not attracted to it

The Day Is Long

Hi Kiddos! We have a new podcast coming REAL soon - and by soon, I mean - when it gets uploaded. And its pure gold. Just to let you know that we're not dead though. Here's Sam & The Elderly Old Man having both had enough for the day, and our respective levels of patience having worn thinner than that pair of underwear that well.. really now.. throw them away dude.. Just let them go. ENJOY!

E.O.M. says:
you dont have to answer all of it, only as much as you want
S.A.M. says:
oki oki
S.A.M. says:
influence doen
S.A.M. says:
done
E.O.M. says:
que?
E.O.M. says:
what u do?
E.O.M. says:
that was like 30 s
S.A.M. says:
no
S.A.M. says:
im saying il look at it
S.A.M. says:
you have influenced
E.O.M. says:
ohhhh hehe
S.A.M. says:
ur job is done!
S.A.M. says:
JESUS
S.A.M. says:
its ok for u to get on ur train
S.A.M. says:
and for no one to have any goddamn idea whether theyre going to die
S.A.M. says:
in a trackwork fireball
E.O.M. says:
bwhahahahah
E.O.M. says:
thats very dramatic!
S.A.M. says:
takin that majic train all the way to aaron's personal autobahn nirvana
E.O.M. says:
hahahaha
S.A.M. says:
isnt it. i do get like that occasionally.
E.O.M. says:
y'know what though
S.A.M. says:
sigh. WHAT?

E.O.M. says:
my nirvana isn't entirely unlike the video clip for Kraftwerk's Autobahn
S.A.M. says:
oh JESUS
E.O.M. says:
y'know.. happily cruising along in your affordable car...
fun fun fun on der auto-bahn
S.A.M. says:
hahahaha
S.A.M. says:
yehh