Traveller's Lament

Just a snippet of gold whilst we 'prepare' for our next audio podcast.
Enjoy!

S.A.M. says:
yoga was great!
E.O.M. says:
oh im glad to hear!
E.O.M. says:
i was gonna ask how that went
E.O.M. says:
got sidetracked
S.A.M. says:
yeh didnt feel like u do when push self ridonkulus hard
S.A.M. says:
in gym
S.A.M. says:
woke up with energy
S.A.M. says:
even tho we slept in
S.A.M. says:
haha
E.O.M. says:
yeh you has better sleep when physically exerted
E.O.M. says:
i concede that.. when i feel drained, its coz ive been a sloth
S.A.M. says:
yep!
S.A.M. says:
so i feel better
S.A.M. says:
for now
E.O.M. says:
theres this stupid horrible thing called 'upkeep' which i just cant get behind, man..
S.A.M. says:
upkeep?
S.A.M. says:
of ones self?
E.O.M. says:
yeh, as in you have to keep doing it
S.A.M. says:
yes. everything that lives
S.A.M. says:
requires constant maintanence
E.O.M. says:
yeh.. i mean personal hygeine's enough of an annoyance
E.O.M. says:
its like UHGH.. i stink AGAIN?!? my teeth are furry AGAIN!??!
E.O.M. says:
oh!
E.O.M. says:
you know when you notice this the most??? No-one tells you this about flying.
E.O.M. says:
On a trip from Sydney to somewhere in Europe.. You're well groomed, and more or less awake the whole journey unless you're rich.
E.O.M. says:
And you actually notice the degradation of your own constitution as the journey progresses.
E.O.M. says:
Its bizarre.
S.A.M. says:
hahahaha
S.A.M. says:
really
S.A.M. says:
i dont think i did
S.A.M. says:
what u mean?
E.O.M. says:
well you've showered, brushed teeth/hair.. set out for airport and boarded plane right?
E.O.M. says:
feelin pretty good about self.. coz is going on holiday
E.O.M. says:
fast forward the better part of 20 hours later.
E.O.M. says:
you've had 2 meals, a couple token snacks.. and as much booze as you can handle before your body goes WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING TO ME!?!?!!
E.O.M. says:
Then you're in Changi airport, Singapore. Hair all over the place, unshaven, greasy, and it feels like your teeth are about to fall out of head.
E.O.M. says:
You stumble to bathroom muttering "tooothbrusshhh... must.. brush.. teeetthh..."
E.O.M. says:
And thats just from sitting down in an airconditioned room, essentially just eating crap and watching TV.
E.O.M. says:
amazing.
S.A.M. says:
HAhahahahhaha
S.A.M. says:
WOW
S.A.M. says:
i think i had too many sedatives
S.A.M. says:
i really dont remember caring
S.A.M. says:
sure, u feel gross
S.A.M. says:
but yeh i was pretty heavily drugged

Kitty, kitty, kittttttaaaaaaaay!!

So, just when you think it's an uneventful ordinary weekday evening, your cat starts to scream. Loudly. As if it's throat is being cut slowly. At first I thought it was a naturally occurring element of Network Ten programming. But no, my housemate boomed up the stairs "you guys better come down and see this..."

Out the front of the house was my wussy, gigantic six year old ginger and white puffball feline, Jack. He was crouched, hair up the wrong way doing that long, horrible drawn out growl that a kitty does when they see something they just don't like. In front of him was a completely unperturbed, plucky kitten with exactly the same fur colouring, and a very girly pearly blue bejewelled collar.

Being cat people, we attempted to capture the tiny kitty and return it to the presumably small girl it had released itself from. After a good 20 minutes, and a Gladiator-esque chase fight between kitten and our other, slightly less wussy cat Jynxy, the frustration had set in. We had less of an idea who the sassy young cat could belong to than when we started, and it didn't help the engraved contact details on its neck tag were in Arial Narrow, size 4 font. It's name could have been Lorena or Lotina. I think it started with an 'L' and ended with and 'A'. But I still cannot be sure. I touched it's back in an attempt to capture it and I got an Exorcist 180 degree head turn, exposed teeth and one helluva hiss. It just wanted to leap around in the grass and ignore us, and torture my clearly simple Jack. Hehe. Simple Jack. Just like Ben Stiller in 'Tropic Thunder'. NEVER GO FULL RETARD!