Prelude To The Parade

Better late than never, here's our latest! 15 mins after we'd finished up on this, we were treated to a grand procession of university looking party goers.. Shall I say in the hundreds?? There were definitely close to a hundred of them all walking by our 'studio'.. Sexeh kitten costumed gals, devil girls, boys in gimp outfits, a few poor attempts at Hello Kitty.. Oh yeh, and the temperature outside was sub zero too.. Surely we hadn't had THAT much wine by the end of this!!

A Little Too Much Karl

Sometimes its hard not to be quite so influenced by those you admire.

S.A.M. says:
"why do blokes buy gay magazines? blokes have got their own knob to look at , if they like knobs"
E.O.M. says:
he's got a point!
S.A.M. says:
BAHAHAHAHA
S.A.M. says:
ok. u go
S.A.M. says:
ask a gay man'
S.A.M. says:
its like asking why lesbians like other spadge
S.A.M. says:
COS UR NOT GONNA GET ALL HOT FOR YERSELF
S.A.M. says:
unless u have a mental illness
E.O.M. says:
yeh but i can understand lesbians liking other lesbians
S.A.M. says:
whaaaaaaaaaa
S.A.M. says:
why is it diff?
E.O.M. says:
the female body's more aesthetic
S.A.M. says:
why?
S.A.M. says:
oh wow
S.A.M. says:
hahahhaa
S.A.M. says:
so ur of the seinfeld school
E.O.M. says:
its curvy artisctically pleasing
S.A.M. says:
"it's for gettin around like a jeep"
E.O.M. says:
i never understood the greeks
S.A.M. says:
bahaha
S.A.M. says:
they love a wrestle
E.O.M. says:
look at your women! they're gorgeous!
S.A.M. says:
um
S.A.M. says:
yeh ok
E.O.M. says:
and they've got to be easier to sculpt or chisel out too
E.O.M. says:
its just easy curves
S.A.M. says:
hahhahaa
S.A.M. says:
riiiight
E.O.M. says:
imagine the first guy sculpting a knob
S.A.M. says:
oh jesus
E.O.M. says:
he's rolling it out on a table
S.A.M. says:
no wonder they made them small
E.O.M. says:
sticks it on.. and his mate goes... mmm yeh... its not very knob like though is it
S.A.M. says:
heh. my sculpture is SO much smaller than me
E.O.M. says:
a gay man might say, whats there to look at in a spadge
E.O.M. says:
might as well be a miniature arse
S.A.M. says:
BAHAHAHA....wow
S.A.M. says:
ok NOT what im saying
S.A.M. says:
and most gay men appreciate the female form
S.A.M. says:
theyre just not attracted to it

The Day Is Long

Hi Kiddos! We have a new podcast coming REAL soon - and by soon, I mean - when it gets uploaded. And its pure gold. Just to let you know that we're not dead though. Here's Sam & The Elderly Old Man having both had enough for the day, and our respective levels of patience having worn thinner than that pair of underwear that well.. really now.. throw them away dude.. Just let them go. ENJOY!

E.O.M. says:
you dont have to answer all of it, only as much as you want
S.A.M. says:
oki oki
S.A.M. says:
influence doen
S.A.M. says:
done
E.O.M. says:
que?
E.O.M. says:
what u do?
E.O.M. says:
that was like 30 s
S.A.M. says:
no
S.A.M. says:
im saying il look at it
S.A.M. says:
you have influenced
E.O.M. says:
ohhhh hehe
S.A.M. says:
ur job is done!
S.A.M. says:
JESUS
S.A.M. says:
its ok for u to get on ur train
S.A.M. says:
and for no one to have any goddamn idea whether theyre going to die
S.A.M. says:
in a trackwork fireball
E.O.M. says:
bwhahahahah
E.O.M. says:
thats very dramatic!
S.A.M. says:
takin that majic train all the way to aaron's personal autobahn nirvana
E.O.M. says:
hahahaha
S.A.M. says:
isnt it. i do get like that occasionally.
E.O.M. says:
y'know what though
S.A.M. says:
sigh. WHAT?

E.O.M. says:
my nirvana isn't entirely unlike the video clip for Kraftwerk's Autobahn
S.A.M. says:
oh JESUS
E.O.M. says:
y'know.. happily cruising along in your affordable car...
fun fun fun on der auto-bahn
S.A.M. says:
hahahaha
S.A.M. says:
yehh

You rescued a Hard Drive for THIS?

Well kiddies, not much to say other than we did this some time ago.. It always seems to be 'some time ago'. We're totally worse than Seth Macfarlane, in many many ways! We had a request to have a music discussion. So here's a discussion about Hollywood celebrities!

The Easter Show

There's a new podcast coming soon, but for now....

E.O.M says:
i only wanted to go to the easter show once.. and that was to get the space age milk glass
S.A.M says:
HAHAHHAAH
S.A.M says:
so specific
E.O.M says:
seriously... all i remember about the whole event is crowds
S.A.M says:
COS THATS ALL THER IS
E.O.M says:
there's nothing there except a shitload of people shuffling around
S.A.M says:
old ppl
S.A.M says:
young ppl
S.A.M says:
lots of extremes
S.A.M says:
not much in btw
E.O.M says:
and you do a circuit of the grounds, and realise that you've done NOTHING except shuffle through a crowd
S.A.M says:
god we're so old
S.A.M says:
hahhaa
S.A.M says:
yeh i have similar complaints
S.A.M says:
daves like WHITE KITTY WITH BLUE RIBBON AND SMUG FACE!! C'MON!!!
E.O.M says:
and showbags?!? oh yeh it seems like fun when you're a kid...
S.A.M says:
yeh. pieces of shit
S.A.M says:
SHIT!
E.O.M says:
but $15 for a handful of out of date confectionery???
S.A.M says:
HAHAH
S.A.M says:
or non branded
S.A.M says:
from polski
E.O.M says:
FIVE DOLLARS FOR TWO BERTIE BEETLES!!
S.A.M says:
hahaha oh bertie

Hot Wheels

S.A.M says:
ALL ABOARD THE AARON TRAIN
S.A.M says:
CHOO CHOOO!!!
S.A.M says:
ah
E.O.M says:
tickets please!
S.A.M says:
hahaha
S.A.M says:
I CANT GET OFF!! I CANT MAKE IT STOP!!
E.O.M says:
yeh just get off when you can.. its gonna derail 
E.O.M says:
stop drop n' roll
E.O.M says:
danielle said to me last night she's never seen a grown man so happy about something that wasn't a naked woman
S.A.M says:
BAHAHAHAHA
S.A.M says:
what were u so happy about?
E.O.M says:
i got a hot wheels batmobile off ebay
E.O.M says:
its kinda awesome
S.A.M says:
BAHAHAHAHA
S.A.M says:
jesus dude. u and ryans. aliens.
E.O.M says:
yeh im a man of simple needs!

Sumerki

E.O.M. says:
are you team connor or team kurgan?
S.A.M. says:
hmm
S.A.M. says:
what abou u
S.A.M. says:
i think i is kurgan ya know
E.O.M. says:
man clancy brown's fricken awesome in that film
S.A.M. says:
the lines are so funny
E.O.M. says:
but it wasn't a genuine question 
S.A.M. says:
"TONIGHT U SLEEP IN HELL"
S.A.M. says:
oh
S.A.M. says:
haha
S.A.M. says:
well u gotta be more specific nerdboy!
E.O.M. says:
i dont think i'd ever say 'team something' and be serious 
S.A.M. says:
JACOB OR EDWARD
S.A.M. says:
EDWARD OR JACOB?!! TEL ME!
E.O.M. says:
i'd like to see a russian remake of twilight though hey
E.O.M. says:
everyone chronically chain smoking.. dejected
E.O.M. says:
*sigh* so... Bella... i hear you like zis Yacob boy..
E.O.M. says:
ah well he does well in military and hez good job in KGB
E.O.M. says:
- stop feeling sorry for yourself Edvard. Yacob is breath of fresh AIR compared to you. He shines like stars in night sky!!
S.A.M. says:
hahahhahaa

One man has never been so wrong.

Well hello chumbly bums! Now, here's our latest podcast. You COULD listen to it - or you could just click on this link here: http://www.roottheband.com.au/

Hooray!

Traveller's Lament

Just a snippet of gold whilst we 'prepare' for our next audio podcast.
Enjoy!

S.A.M. says:
yoga was great!
E.O.M. says:
oh im glad to hear!
E.O.M. says:
i was gonna ask how that went
E.O.M. says:
got sidetracked
S.A.M. says:
yeh didnt feel like u do when push self ridonkulus hard
S.A.M. says:
in gym
S.A.M. says:
woke up with energy
S.A.M. says:
even tho we slept in
S.A.M. says:
haha
E.O.M. says:
yeh you has better sleep when physically exerted
E.O.M. says:
i concede that.. when i feel drained, its coz ive been a sloth
S.A.M. says:
yep!
S.A.M. says:
so i feel better
S.A.M. says:
for now
E.O.M. says:
theres this stupid horrible thing called 'upkeep' which i just cant get behind, man..
S.A.M. says:
upkeep?
S.A.M. says:
of ones self?
E.O.M. says:
yeh, as in you have to keep doing it
S.A.M. says:
yes. everything that lives
S.A.M. says:
requires constant maintanence
E.O.M. says:
yeh.. i mean personal hygeine's enough of an annoyance
E.O.M. says:
its like UHGH.. i stink AGAIN?!? my teeth are furry AGAIN!??!
E.O.M. says:
oh!
E.O.M. says:
you know when you notice this the most??? No-one tells you this about flying.
E.O.M. says:
On a trip from Sydney to somewhere in Europe.. You're well groomed, and more or less awake the whole journey unless you're rich.
E.O.M. says:
And you actually notice the degradation of your own constitution as the journey progresses.
E.O.M. says:
Its bizarre.
S.A.M. says:
hahahaha
S.A.M. says:
really
S.A.M. says:
i dont think i did
S.A.M. says:
what u mean?
E.O.M. says:
well you've showered, brushed teeth/hair.. set out for airport and boarded plane right?
E.O.M. says:
feelin pretty good about self.. coz is going on holiday
E.O.M. says:
fast forward the better part of 20 hours later.
E.O.M. says:
you've had 2 meals, a couple token snacks.. and as much booze as you can handle before your body goes WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING TO ME!?!?!!
E.O.M. says:
Then you're in Changi airport, Singapore. Hair all over the place, unshaven, greasy, and it feels like your teeth are about to fall out of head.
E.O.M. says:
You stumble to bathroom muttering "tooothbrusshhh... must.. brush.. teeetthh..."
E.O.M. says:
And thats just from sitting down in an airconditioned room, essentially just eating crap and watching TV.
E.O.M. says:
amazing.
S.A.M. says:
HAhahahahhaha
S.A.M. says:
WOW
S.A.M. says:
i think i had too many sedatives
S.A.M. says:
i really dont remember caring
S.A.M. says:
sure, u feel gross
S.A.M. says:
but yeh i was pretty heavily drugged

Kitty, kitty, kittttttaaaaaaaay!!

So, just when you think it's an uneventful ordinary weekday evening, your cat starts to scream. Loudly. As if it's throat is being cut slowly. At first I thought it was a naturally occurring element of Network Ten programming. But no, my housemate boomed up the stairs "you guys better come down and see this..."

Out the front of the house was my wussy, gigantic six year old ginger and white puffball feline, Jack. He was crouched, hair up the wrong way doing that long, horrible drawn out growl that a kitty does when they see something they just don't like. In front of him was a completely unperturbed, plucky kitten with exactly the same fur colouring, and a very girly pearly blue bejewelled collar.

Being cat people, we attempted to capture the tiny kitty and return it to the presumably small girl it had released itself from. After a good 20 minutes, and a Gladiator-esque chase fight between kitten and our other, slightly less wussy cat Jynxy, the frustration had set in. We had less of an idea who the sassy young cat could belong to than when we started, and it didn't help the engraved contact details on its neck tag were in Arial Narrow, size 4 font. It's name could have been Lorena or Lotina. I think it started with an 'L' and ended with and 'A'. But I still cannot be sure. I touched it's back in an attempt to capture it and I got an Exorcist 180 degree head turn, exposed teeth and one helluva hiss. It just wanted to leap around in the grass and ignore us, and torture my clearly simple Jack. Hehe. Simple Jack. Just like Ben Stiller in 'Tropic Thunder'. NEVER GO FULL RETARD!