Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Hello Christmas? Can I have some of my dough back?

We did a podcast just before christmas to wish.. err.. someone.. happy holidays and crap. There's still new years to come though, so consider it done. :)





Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Fiscal Facists

Hi Everybody! All five of you! Ha-haa!
We did a second one can you believe it? Theres a tab on here saying 'monetize' but seriously - this stuff's priceless, so just buy me a Coke. Onwards!



Friday, December 3, 2010

A little bit of Friday

In-FORRR-MER! Ah-nosobihnwnxnome;hfoaanaLeeeyyahhnn-a licky boom boom dooownn!

Yeh this morning there was a guy standing on the street on my way to the station.
He had a pipe which was cool, but he had this gut which defied all reason. It hung from his belt buckle to about mid-way down the thigh right.. Now you'd probably say ok its a gut, just leave it. No. You don't understand. He has this safety-yellow coloured shirt on. It was like the Sun. You know how hard it is to walk nonchalantly passed that? My god.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Bogue Speak in a Corporate Coaaaaaat...

Sam here, nice to have you read my times.

Now, I work in an office and hilarious things happen if you care to take notice of the screaming demon next to the codfish of monotony. But I'm not delusional - it's nothing new. Ricky Gervais has spawned a whole TV sitcom franchise looking into the hideous inner workings of the office workplace and the quirks of all those allowed to exist within it.

However, every now and then, someone truly special comes along in the office space. Chuck that many people together who would rather swallow rusty razor blades than associate in any other circumstance - and occasionally you'll observe spectacular things.

I call her Tiffani. If you listened to the podcast in the below post - you'll be well acquainted with her.

Everyone's worked with this woman. A version of the thinks-is-wise-of-Dalai-Lama proportions bogue. She got peroxide hair on top. Black hair below. Think Christina Aguilera in Dirrrrrty - if she was forced wear a Cue skirt rather than leather chaps. Her nails are long and fake. She clickety-clacks when she walks. Where does the noise come from? The too tall heels from Che Tarjay? The nails clashing together from the wringing hands? Either/or - as Tiff would say. The accent is straight outta the first season of Underbelly...Roberta Williams if she said "wanker" instead of "fucking cocksucker" - it is a professional environment after all.

She is in her 30s. She is single. She has 2 cats of the purebred variety. She talks about everything crass your mother taught you to never discuss in polite company - money, weight, A Current Affair. Throw in some thinly veiled racism and things "me mum" says - and your in Tiffani Town my friend.

Here's a quote to brighten your day:

Drone who fears Tiff: "Hey Tiffani, we're going down to lunch...do you want anything?"
Tiffani: "No darl, thanks a bunch, but I wait until after 2pm - everything's half price after that. Have you noticed? It's fabulous!"

Once she walked past my office (I don't know why I have one...it's small but it has a door - however not even that keeps her out) and said: "You. I don't know your name. I just call everyone 'darl' or 'sweetie-pie' anyways! Ha!"

She then walked away. Without learning my name.

Once my co-worker was being desperately polite, trying to get out of the conversational rape Tiffani was perpetrating against her. I heard my co-worker say in a strangled voice "ohhhh....hahaha! Sam has cats. Yeh...Sam has..um..TWO CATS! YOU SHOULD TALK TO HER!"

Cut to Tiff clickety clacketing her way into my office and beginning to talk to me - just as I was picking up the phone to make an urgent call. You know...as part of my job.

She spoke to me for 7.5 minutes straight about her cats. And things they do. None of these stories were remotely interesting. I know I tell cat stories - but mine are actually slightly to very amusing. I mean c'mon. My boyfriend's cat pisses on things indoors, just to see how long it takes until we chase him. My cat warbles like a dying elephant seal for me to clean up his poop after every movement and....oh. I just realised my own point. These stories ARE amusing...maybe to close friends, family and people we live with. Not to some poor person who happens to work a corridor away from you, fearing the clickety...oh how often it comes. It haunts my dreams.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Sam & The Elderly Old Man - A Podcast!

The time has come my little friends to talk of other things! We've done a podcast!

I say podcast, but I doubt you can hook it into iTunes, but its definitely compatible with the human ear, provided you're not deaf.

Incidently, please enjoy our new humble beginning!


Or if you've been listening to our future (read: more recent) podcasts and want to see how it all began, hear our slightly embarassing first show, warts and all - hey man, we were just two kah-raazy kids back then! Get off my case!


Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Planting Seeds On Trains

Hello everyone!

Seeing as some time has lapsed, its high time I contributed a bit to what we're trying to do here. Unfortunately no audio just yet but here's some more random musings, and what you can expect in the upcoming podcasts.

Enjoy! Here's Sam on the birth of creative ideas!


S.A.M says:
i dunno
S.A.M says:
let me get back to u
S.A.M says:
itll come to me in my sleep
S.A.M says:
always does
E.O.M says:
thats the best way 
S.A.M says:
seriously ....if i book the idea
S.A.M says:
it will come
E.O.M says:
book the idea?
E.O.M says:
what like you phone up your brain and request feedback for say... 7 o'clock on saturday?
S.A.M says:
yehp
S.A.M says:
but generally
S.A.M says:
its 5am
S.A.M says:
ooo good
S.A.M says:
im already on the train
S.A.M says:
THE SEED IS PLANTED
E.O.M says:
at 5am?
E.O.M says:
you've lost me there
E.O.M says:
or, you're up at 5am in a cold sweat and a big EUREKA grin on your face, and you've held onto this idea on your daily commute?
S.A.M says:
haha
S.A.M says:
its simple
S.A.M says:
ur harder to follow than me, at least i fucking explain myself in general conversation
S.A.M says:
i ask my brain
S.A.M says:
to come up with something
S.A.M says:
it always happens at arond 4/5am
S.A.M says:
i wake up
S.A.M says:
and go YES! ITS SO SIMPLE!!
S.A.M says:
and either forget it entirely
S.A.M says:
or it becomes a really awesome idea
E.O.M says:
whats that got to do with you being on the train?
E.O.M says:
is that like the absolute test, if the idea makes it onto the train, its solid?
E.O.M says:
ill admit i have something similar, i just dont ask my brain to wake me up before the alarm..
S.A.M says:
haha train
S.A.M says:
means i have put the gears in motion
S.A.M says:
i have put the ideas on the train
S.A.M says:
it is now travelling to the 5am eureka moment
S.A.M says:
god aaron, get with it
E.O.M says:
I see.   Ok so not actually a train
S.A.M says:
no. not actual train
E.O.M says:
That didn't come across over text. 
S.A.M says:
hahaha
S.A.M says:
stop with ur emoticons
S.A.M says:
ur making me nauseous

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Podcasts and Razorblades

Howdy peeps.

Ok, since we're so slack in taking up the audio podcasts again, I had a great idea today. To tide the audience over, I'll sporadically post snippets of web conversations that we have, which are still gold, but you just can't hear it. So read it to yourselves in our voices and if you're lucky you might get the intonation right! :)

Noone follows this yet, and its probably only Sam & I who read it, save maaaybe one or two others who stumble across by accident. The future audio podcasts will be better than the ones we've done before, and indeed I will (eventually upload those) as kind of like the 'classic series' of good ol' timey podcasts, compared to the new futuristic ones which indeed have not been recorded yet and still only exist in the future.

Here's a snippet of what you might expect in the usual banter of Sam & The Elderly Old Man
(starting on the subject of why I haven't written a review in such a long times)


S.A.M says:
u havent written one since march
S.A.M says:
cmon dude!!!
E.O.M says:
the reviews?
E.O.M says:
yeh slack huh
S.A.M says:
hahhaa
S.A.M says:
no no
S.A.M says:
i hadnt written for three years
E.O.M says:
i also have livejournal, but haven't used that in a while either
E.O.M says:
highlights include the time i bought the girls cartridge razor refill for my mens handle
S.A.M says:
hhahaha
S.A.M says:
pink and grey fance
E.O.M says:
yeh man, virginal pink and white razor cartridge on my hard black and silver manly handle
S.A.M says:
BAHAHHA
S.A.M says:
did it fit?
S.A.M says:
or was it a bit...tight
S.A.M says:
bahahaha
Cogsworthy says:
hehehehehe
E.O.M says:
yeh thats why i got it!
S.A.M says:
so wrong
E.O.M says:
they stopped making the mens version, so i have to get the womens version
S.A.M says:
oh it was intentional
S.A.M says:
jesus ur a case
S.A.M says:
im really proud i got the blog design i wanted
S.A.M says:
mhmmm
E.O.M says:
our podcast is the true victim here
S.A.M says:
and im esp proud of frampton comes alive reference
S.A.M says:
its so waynes world of me
S.A.M says:
yes. MISSING THE GOOOLD
E.O.M says:
maybe we can take snippets of our msn chats and blog it up for intermission
E.O.M says:
fuck it.. im doing that.